The Joys of Dieting

.... well there are none.

I began to scrapbook our wedding pictures. Its pretty fun!
And I know my best friend will love this... I bought Coal Miner's Daughter. I am so excited to watch it. I have been in a very very country mood.

I can't believe how determined I  am to loose some pounds. I have never been this gung-ho before. Usually all my other diets last for about a day... I have been on this one for about a week. I just feel like everyone is against me on this.

Here is a poem one of my best friends wrote me. I love him sooo much he is one of the funniest people I know and he is such a sweet soul. Anyway, he wrote this for me at my bridal shower...

"Forever seems long if you look to the end 

But not long enough if you look where you've been

Cause when you reach the end and the journey is done

 thats when you'll see that its all just begun."

                                       -L. Durand

Mixed Philosophies

To see your world in a grain of sand

And Heaven in a wild flower;

To hold infinity in the palm of your hand

An eternity in an hour.

I don't quite know exactly how I feel at this moment. I have a small headache and i am cooking some baked potatoes for the kids' dinners. I was reading a friend's blog. I knew her in middle school and high school. I was actually thinking about her for a few days. In middle school I used to be very eccentric. However, believe it or not I have calmed down in my old, married age. I remember we had a class together and I don't think she liked me very much. However, as we got to high school she turned very sweet. As I read some of her blog I felt funny. I felt like I did about two to one year ago. I feel as if my whole philosophy on life has changed since then. I don't know if it has been for the better, worse, or indifference.

"The Violets in the mountains have broken the rocks."

I used to be very peaceful and very serene, yet now I feel very not angry but kinda of, not so happy go lucky. More reasonable and rational to the world... I don't know where I am going with this. Maybe I could have a philosophical test. I will take up one philosophy and take up another and see which makes me happier, which makes more sense. Then I will perhaps make a decision. Or perhaps do some blending of the two. Today I will start with my old philosophy, maybe not "today" but right now. My old philosophy was pretty much being like the old turtle on kung fu panda. Ha. As I watched it today it just made me think a little about the past and how I had changed. 

  "From Ignorance lead me to truth,

From darkness lead me to light,

From death lead me to Immortality."

Oh history, how I love you.

On Tuesday a while ago Franklin and I both had the day off for some odd reason. However, we both decided to run around and go shopping and have fun and of course we went to one of our favorite stores Bookman’s. We went in there and I asked these two men about mid twenties where they kept the federalist papers.(history, political science, ect?)  “is that the title?” “What’s it about?”  I am in one of the most liberal stores I could possibly be and they are telling me they have no idea what it is?! So I told them oh its just written by our founding fathers about how the government was to be designed and outlined the constitution nothing that’s real important today. No wonder the government is how it is today.

Eventually we discovered that it was in the history section and as I was looking at all the history books I started to become excited about everything. And I was thinking… “Wouldn’t it be cool to learn and go though history and then read about major events?!” For example I would probably start at the revolution and I would have to read the constitution and I would read the federalists papers and then I would read a biography about George Washington, Alexander Hamilton, Benjamin Franklin, and just specialize in these characters and events. I would continue on and then I would read about Andrew Jackson, Andrew Carnegie, The Teapot Dome scandal and just specialize in each aspect that has shaped America. So I am going to try. I would like to do it chronologically but I think I would get bored and feel trapped with those rules and end up falling short… way short. So I am just going to read as I go. Franklin and I have so many books so so so many. We have one about George Washington, Andrew Carnegie, Franklin and I both have lots of war novels. We have Undaunted courage about Lewis and Clark. So I will just work my way though them buying more when I see them on sale and such. Could it be so bad spending lots of money on books???? 

oh today...

I felt very productive today. Franklin left for work at like six in the morning, I couldn't even wake up to make him some lunch. But I love when he tucks me in and kisses me goodbye. (even when I am half asleep with dragon breath) I woke up and read a little of clan of the cave bear (trying to find a specific part). Then I started to clean. I put all the laundry away and picked up all of my bobbypins that were scattered around the house. I made the bed and completely cleaned out the vaccuum cleaner. I windexed the garbage pail thingy down and windexed the tables. I am doing the laundry and everything. But when I came to my mom's house to do the laundry I just kapooted and just wanted to sit and be on facebook and to blog. I really don't like to do a lot before work. I like to sit and relax and get mentally ready but I rerally should run a few more errands before tonight. Starting tonight, Franklin and I are going to be watching a family friends kids while they go on a trip. We are going to stay at their house for the week. I am kinda nervous. I don't have kids and I was the youngest, and I have never really been around kids. They all have thier own lives and agendas and everything. I think it will be fine though, since they are older they can pretty much fend for themselves. It weird how much life you can see and remember through a blog. I was looking at my sister in laws blog from when she first started. before I even knew her and looking at when she started her life as a mom and just everything. I like it cause its a part of history that can never really be lost.

Just a few of my favorite things....

I love these they are all so unique and individual they were bought for Franklin and I after we were married by his parents. (Franklin is part Russian) They were hand made by some Russian man... they are super cute. Love them.

   This is my sewing machine. I am still trying to figure out how to work it all out me and my sewing machine are going to make great things together. I made two baby blankets on it so far (not for me) and I found some more material for me to make a pretty pretty very indie blanket. Good times will be had by all.

This is a mask Franklin and I got in Long Beach on our honeymoon. I didn't like all the girly ones with feathers and such, turned out those were more expensive anyways. But I love it and it is one of my favorite things in our home.

 This is a picture that Franklin had and brought with him. It was his Grandpapas and I just love it. It is pretty much the coolest two dimesional art we have.  I love the boats and the overcasty look. In other words if there was a fire, I would probably save this first.

No, these are just rocks you insensitive bastard. These are our love rocks. Ha. it all started when I found a pretty smooth stone at MCC and I gave it to Franklin (all while we were dating) and I was really suprised because he kept it. Even after a year I found it in his room. I also had a love rock, I believe he got me one. Once we were moving in togther after we had gotten married I was putting out a whole bunch of gemstones and purple rocks and very pretty stones and then I pulled out a kind of plain and homely rock and he was like whats that one?!?! (repulsed) and I said, "thats our love rock you insensitive bastard" hahah it was funny not in a mean. But these rocks are from our honeymoon and I kept picking them up when we were on the beach and they were all the same weight, shape and size. Yet, they were all different colors so this is our pile of love rocks.

My most favorite is my lover.

That is all.

thoughts

I am so excited that Kellie (my new sister) had her baby and everyone is healthy and fine. I am so excited to see them all grow together and I am even more excited to see what kind of personality this little one has!

I am tired and sore.
My body is aching, Franklin and I went hiking up to Flat Iron. I could have sworn I was going to die. I felt like I was. Its upsetting because it shows to me how out of shape I have become. Hopefully Franklin and I can become more active like we played tennis. (not just wii tennis).

Is it bad that I think about babies and want them and then don't want to become another stereotype and then I don't want any?

I am undecided about that aspect in my life.

I super cleaned our house. I love finding little scraps and remnants of  Franklin's life before me. Sometimes I forget how gentle he is. He is such a sweet soul and it reminds me what I love about him. He is such a good writer. I wish I could see into his brain and that he could tell me every desire of his soul.

Its funny how you can look at a blog or a journal of someones, and the years go by so fast and you can see how someones grows or deteriorates. I like reading the blog of my old friend. She is such a tortured soul. I wish she could find herself. I feel like she is in a self destroying cyclical life. I wish I could have helped her, but how can you help without getting too dragged in yourself? I feel it is a waste when someone so smart and so promising is so bored and wastes their mind. who does drugs to hide from reality.

Sewing Machine

Well it took me a few hours but I finally finished that baby blanket I was going to attempt to make. Yay! for actually doing it. Now I just need to make one more and I will have all those baby makers covered. The first one is soooo super cute, and i know the second one is going to be just as cute. It did make me kinda want to get all babied up... but then I would have to be chronically slow, deficient, unable to have fun, and vunerable to zombie attacks for nine months (maybe I'll get babied up later...)

It took me forever to figure out how to work that sewing machine though. Its amazing that there is such technology that will move this needle and make like so much easier. My sewing machine has this contraption that threads the needle so you don't have to spit on the thread and look like an idiot trying to put the thread through this tiny hole for 10 minutes. I think its pretty darn good for my first thing I have ever sewed.

Franklin and I went to the giant burrito... or the big burrito... or something to that effect. We went during his lunch break ( i took a break from sewing) Its was lots of fun. Sometimes i forget that we are married... it just seems like we are still dating. We spent so much time together while we were dating that the transition was very simple.